I have had two job interviews the past two weeks. One at Fond du Lac High School (FDLHS), the other at North Fond du Lac High School (HMHS) where I am currently employed. The interview at FDLHS went really well and I was told I would hear back by last Friday. I have not heard anything. My aunt, a teacher in the Fond du Lac School District, says “no news is good news.” She assumes that FDLHS will send me a rejection letter instead of receiving a call. I have not received a call or a rejection letter. I assumed that I would have received something by now if they were rejecting me. If I didn’t hear on Friday and didn’t get any letter on Saturday (in case the letters were sent out late) I would still be in the running. Now, I am losing patience as well as faith in myself and it is completely nerve wracking. I am starting to rationalize that maybe the person who interviewed me told me I’d hear later this week meaning “later next week” but I think I’m just grasping. Unfortunately, they would prefer someone with a 310 (Journalism) or 320 (Communications) certification in addition to the regular English certification. However, I know that their forensics coach recently resigned and I do know that I am a willing and very capable forensics coach.
I don’t think my interview at North Fond du Lac High School went that well. It was over quickly, but I knew everyone on the interview panel. There’s nothing worse than getting into an interview and sitting at a separate “island” table in front of three of your peers and your principal. I choked on one question having to do with the new Common Core Standards being implemented in 2013 but I was honest about it. I feel like my biggest strength is the relationships and rapport I have with my students. My teaching style is student centered and I model and promote reading for fun as well as education. Basically, I bend over backwards for my students…every day. Even the ones that are disrespectful and say hurtful things to me. It’s hard for me to give up on someone, even though I’ve realized a long time ago (and have to frequently remind myself to stay grounded) that I cannot save them all. I get nervous around my coworkers, especially the two members of the English department. I just wanted to scream the entire time that they know I’d be an awesome person for the position because I’ve been in the position since December and have succeeded expectations. Not only did I get paid daily, I was paid as a sub but that didn’t stop me from giving it 110% all of the time. I don’t know how much more I can put myself out there in order for them to see that I have done everything I possibly could to prove to myself, my coworkers, my students, and my administration that there is no better person suited for this position than me. I’m a good at risk aide, but I’m a better teacher.
I am just 100% done at this point. I am tired, especially tired, of having to sell myself. I just want to teach more than anything. I chose teaching because I thought I related to students and “got it.” I wanted to be the safe person for them and the one advocate they had in the school. I knew that I wouldn’t be better at anything else after my first day in the classroom ended.
And now for a little bit of optimism:
EK and Cosmo moved in on Saturday night. ^___________________________________________________________^ We’re still waiting for EK’s place to sell. But he’s living here to make Cosmo’s transition more comfortable, and ya know, because he loves me and stuff :). Cosmo and Sophie are….comical at best. There’s a lot of hissing and growling happening right now. Two super aggressive moments, no attacking, just heightened awareness and puffed fur in combination to the hissing. Sophie is finally starting to act like herself again. She gets very insecure and sassy when we give Cosmo attention. The first night I was holding her and she lunged at my face. I had to submit her on the floor just to make sure didn’t do that again. She hasn’t but she did get very growly while she was on my lap last night—big and bad kitteh iz big and bad. Cosmo is doing really well and loves the house. She sat like a gargoyle on my couch last night. I have to keep reminding myself (and EK has to keep reminding me too) that it’s only been the second full day. I have anxiety that they’ll never get along but we’re making progress slowly but surely.