The house would not be the same without your neurosis.

Image

image

Advertisements

+/- week 2 of teaching

Standard

I really need to set up some kind of blogging schedule so I can better communicate with myself (if that doesn’t make me sound crazy, I don’t know what does).  I had the intent to blog all week but right now this will have to do.  I make my creative writing students write three pages in their journal per week so maybe, I should do the same.  I am trying to get back into writing but I feel disillusioned by all of the critical literary papers I had to write in college.  Then came the lesson plans.  

+

+ EK and I decided on a tentative wedding color palette.  We’re thinking a rich brown, cream, and turquoise for the main colors and since it’s a fall wedding, I’d like to do a orange for some minor accents.  I really would like a brown or turquoise sash to go around my wedding dress. But I have to pick the dress first.

+ My learning specialist in my classroom is just wonderful to work with.  I can be very easy going regarding students who require accommodations.  Having been an at risk aide, I get where you need to let go and where you need to be a little more steadfast. Anyhow, I just like her and she gave me a wonderful recommendation for a wedding photog that will only charge about $100 for our engagement pics.

+I assembled the majority of my fall wardrobe this weekend and last.  I feel good about this. 

+My idea of a Friday night equals a nap, late grocery shopping, and renting The Walking Dead Season 2 from Family Video with EK. 

+EK and I are going to see The Gaslight Anthem tomorrow!  It was a birthday present and it’s finally heeeeere.  I haven’t been to a concert in ages!

+ I will now have a little more freedom with my weekends since I put in my intent to resign at Younkers.

– I just quit a job that I have worked 10 years at.  I have formed a lot of relationships.  I have been taken care of by some of those ladies more than some of my family members have taken care of me.  Most of them are gone.  Some I will invite to my wedding, but, mostly it’s just bitter sweet.  I don’t deal well with change either.  I’m struggling on this.  I am working my last two shifts at the end of the month and I imagine I’m going to be pretty bummed.  Hopefully, I’ll have come to terms with this a little more by then.

-I have been asked twice if I am pregnant this week.  One in part because I was wearing a tunic and another because a kid was generally interested as he put it, I dress like I am. I’m happy to have an open dialogue but a girl can only get asked if she’s preggo so much before it starts to affect her self esteem.  I have a belly.  I will always have a belly.  It is not a muffin top, but it is a belly.  I am built like a brick shit house but I am a beautiful one.

-I hurt my knee at the gym last week.  Like really hurt it. It was swollen for awhile and because I was favoring it,  my hips and back hurt too.  It’s finally starting to feel better and I’m going to attempt the gym on Tuesday.

-I am over the test the new teacher game.  So over it. Fortunately I’m good at confrontation.

-Two students added to my roster are emancipated and as they call themselves “street rats.” I am keeping a very watchful eye on them to make sure they can have a chance at receiving their due education.

-My nails are brittle.

-I haven’t had any time to read Dance with Dragons. 😦

-I haven’t had any time to read, period.

-I have 3 huge loads of laundry to fold in front of me, but I’m going to take a nap.

 

 

Everything I need to know, I learned in my first year of teaching…

Standard

1. School t-shirts, no matter how uniquely and intuitively designed are nothing but ugly.

2. The term “at risk” really applies to you, as a teacher, more than the students.  (Everyone could be considered at risk for some reason anyhow.  The world’s fucked up.)

3. As long as you arrive in the building before your admin, you are not late. 

 

4. Never let them see you cry, unless of course, it’s during Challenge Day and you want to appear slightly more human.

 

5. Use the bathroom at every opportunity you are not around students.  Leaving in the middle of class inevitably leads to “WHERE ARE YOU GOING MISS K!!?!”

 

6. Some students will argue for the sake of arguing.  For instance:  While handing out grade sheets, student argues “I turned that in!”  Student finds appropriate assignment shoved in his book.  Teacher wears smug look but chooses to say nothing.  Student says “You must have handed this back to me without a grade on it.”  Teacher has rage stroke.

 

7.  The camaraderie you will find with “like” colleagues will be more helpful than a handful of xanax and a shrink.

 

8.  Care just enough to give it everything but not so much that you take it home with you. (Easier said than done.)

 

9.  Be prepared for anything.  Just when you’ve seen/heard/ it all, a kid will ask you if you’ve stopped getting your period in the middle of class because his cousin told him her period stopped when she was 18.

 

10.  Caffeinate.  Then drink water to balance out said caffeine. 

 

11.  Arrange classroom with as many open spaces as possible.  The more spaces, the less places they can hide. 

 

12. Make an ass of yourself once and awhile.

 

13.  When angry, never go above a level 6 (out of 10).  Explain that to students.

 

14.  When something really gets under your skin, rant about it for longer than necessary.  Students will not want to hear it again or, even better, will monitor their peers.  In my case, I heard a lot of “Don’t get her started again.”

 

15. Have fun with the curriculum.  If you need to teach The Scarlet Letter like it’s a trashy talk show to get your students to pay attention, do it.  If you need to make a bad joke to get them to remember something, do it.  If you need to dance across the room singing “Deeee oh ELLLLLLLLLLL” and pretend to be the overcaffeinated DOL fairy to get your students to shut up, pay attention, and FINALLY understand the difference between a colon and a semi colon, you do it. 

Life as I know it (+/-)

Standard

EK reminded me that his “favorite blog” hasn’t been updated in awhile.  Point taken.  Life sort of happened between my last entry and today.

+

+ While I couldn’t post it until everything was official, I accepted a teaching position at Fond du Lac High School and submitted my resignation at Horace Mann High School.  I graduated from FDLHS in ’04 and it’s very surreal to now call some of my former teachers “colleagues.”

+ Engagement pictures.  EK and I haven’t had a lot of time to devout to wedding planning only because I did not have a set budget during the summer.  The first thing I want to do is take engagement pictures and I’d like to take them in October.  Our tentative date is October 2013 so it’d be nice to have them a year before the wedding.  Maybe that IS the tradition for engagement pictures.  I don’t really know or care.

+ I have the opportunity to go to a coworker’s daughter’s wedding today.  I’m not super jazzed about knowing no one there but I think it will be good to look at it from the “okay you’re going to get married soon here are some ideas” standpoint.

+ I got to catch up with Angie this week.  Love her.  We were at dinner for almost 2 hours talking constantly.

+ Found owl wall stickers for my classroom yesterday.

+ Impromptu date day.  I went in to rearrange my classroom and I ended up in Oshkosh with EK for awhile.  We visited House of Heroes, Satori, St. Vinnies, and the Fox Valley Thrift Shoppe. Then we came back to Fond du Lac and visited the mall because I had a few redemption coupons I needed to use.  Victoria’s Secret?  Free undies?  I’ll take it!

+ I am so thankful for the type of relationship I have with EK.  I cannot say it enough.  I don’t like to delve into details because I feel as though we speak for ourselves publicly but it just works, so well.  And we’ve come a long way from what we used to be.

+Orly’s “Opal hope” nailpolish

+ I have really been into benefit makeup lately.

-I found out that one of my students from North Fond du Lac was diagnosed with a rare form of thyroid cancer today.  He is starting his senior year in high school. Unfortunately I am reminded all too well and all too often that a lot of inconsequential stuff that people bitch about doesn’t matter.  Teaching keeps me grounded and I hate moments like these that remind me of that.

-I am a bad student. This means that I have a heck of a time sitting through long meetings like: new teacher orientation, technical college tours, general staff meetings, etc.  However, once again, it keeps me grounded.  I don’t expect my students to sit through class long lectures either.

-Cosmo + Sophie = SO MUCH DRAMAZ! For the record, EK and I own the two most neurotic cats on the planet.  They are SO fickle and inconsistent.

-So much of my mental & physical wellbeing runs on me having quality sleep.  Yeah that’s kind of a “duh” statement but I feel like this applies to me more than a normal person.  I didn’t sleep well yesterday and spent a good portion of it feeling ill and crabby.  EK can attest to this.  I can be a rotten little asshole when I’m tired. I also hate the fact that my internal clock does not match up with EK’s.  I could be in bed by 9PM most nights.

+/-

Standard

 +

+ Job stuff.  Of course, I cannot say what yet, but I do have a meeting at 10AM next Tuesday.

+ Benefit’s new line of lip glosses that match their box o’powders.  I bought the dandelion one.

+ Picking up hours at PT job

+ Weeky dinner night with EK.  One night he makes dinner and I make a dessert and/or appetizer and then we reverse.  This Thursday it’s my time for the appetizer/dessert.

+ Dinner date with Papa K on Wednesday

+ Going back to the gym.  Okay, I went for a half an hour yesterday because of severe TMJ pain but it’s better than nothing.  My head was swimming when I was done. 

+ Naps. Seriously, I’d be a mess without them. 

+ The Rent Soundtrack I picked up at Half Priced Books for $10.  Yesssssss

+ Finding a planner that will work better for my school stuff than that god awful oversized student lesson planner.

+ 1:1 technology initiatives (job stuff, I can’t say much more than that)

+ Good books.  I didn’t read as much as I had planned on this summer but I am slowly gaining speed again. 

+ Baths.  I soaked myself for a good hour on Sunday night and it was fabulous.

+ Cosmo.  She’s seriously reminds me so much of Puck it’s disturbing.  She’s not nearly as affectionate but we’re developing this weird little relationship that simultaneously is making Miss Sophie jealous. She’s my lil tortie butt.

+ Sophie.  Even though she’s been a complete troll to Cosmo, she’s adjusted a lot better than I thought she would. We’re getting back into our little routines again which has been nice.  (I may regret saying that after I wake up in the middle of the night and she’s kneading my head.)

+ Dentist appointment.  I am twenty-six years old and haven’t had one cavity!

– 

Read the rest of this entry

So much has happened

Standard

As my subject line implies, so much has happened since my last update.

First of all, EK asked me to marry him on July 9th around 11:00PM.  I, of course, said yes.  I love this boy more than anything and I cannot wait to plan our wedding.  We are thinking fall, primarily October 2013 as our tentative date.  My wedding day pins on pinterest have increased as I search the site daily for cheap, wedding day ideas.  I have so much I want to do!  I have my bridesmaids picked out already but that’s going to be a surprise.  We’re thinking of a wedding party of 6, three attendants each. 

Secondly, I did not get the job at North Fond du Lac.  However, I have other job prospects in the words that I cannot talk about at this time.  I was saddened by this, but I don’t think the district is the right fit for me.  If given the choice between two jobs, I would have chosen to leave the district anyhow.  It was just an additional blow after a very long, terrible, day at summer school.

So what have I been doing?

Read the rest of this entry

Professionally Defeated

Standard

I’d love to write a really long post about what all happened to me today–but as it deals with my career, some things are just better left unsaid I guess.  I’d rather be professional than vent on the internet.

Instead, I’m talking to my Bestie and trollin’ makeup sites looking for ideas and things to add to my wish list.

“This is going to seem random but I just had to tell you that I am very thankful for our friendship.  There’s never any drama and I can rely on you for anything.  Thank you.”

I received this from a good friend via text message today and I really needed to hear it.  I won’t put their name on blast on the internet but, I can’t say enough how much I needed to hear this today.  So, you know who you are, thanks again ❤

I stumbled upon this gal via Bestie convo.  Definite recommended reading:

My Fit Decision

A little bit of Pessimism

Standard

 

I have had two job interviews the past two weeks.  One at Fond du Lac High School (FDLHS), the other at North Fond du Lac High School (HMHS) where I am currently employed.  The interview at FDLHS went really well and I was told I would hear back by last Friday.  I have not heard anything.  My aunt, a teacher in the Fond du Lac School District, says “no news is good news.”  She assumes that FDLHS will send me a rejection letter instead of receiving a call.  I have not received a call or a rejection letter. I assumed that I would have received something by now if they were rejecting me.  If I didn’t hear on Friday and didn’t get any letter on Saturday (in case the letters were sent out late) I would still be in the running.  Now, I am losing patience as well as faith in myself and it is completely nerve wracking.  I am starting to rationalize that maybe the person who interviewed me told me I’d hear later this week meaning “later next week” but I think I’m just grasping.  Unfortunately, they would prefer someone with a 310 (Journalism) or 320 (Communications) certification in addition to the regular English certification. However, I know that their forensics coach recently resigned and I do know that I am a willing and very capable forensics coach.

I don’t think my interview at North Fond du Lac High School went that well.  It was over quickly, but I knew everyone on the interview panel.  There’s nothing worse than getting into an interview and sitting at a separate “island” table in front of three of your peers and your principal.  I choked on one question having to do with the new Common Core Standards being implemented in 2013 but I was honest about it.  I feel like my biggest strength is the relationships and rapport I have with my students. My teaching style is student centered and I model and promote reading for fun as well as education.  Basically, I bend over backwards for my students…every day.  Even the ones that are disrespectful and say hurtful things to me.  It’s hard for me to give up on someone, even though I’ve realized a long time ago (and have to frequently remind myself to stay grounded) that I cannot save them all.  I get nervous around my coworkers, especially the two members of the English department.  I just wanted to scream the entire time that they know I’d be an awesome person for the position because I’ve been in the position since December and have succeeded expectations.  Not only did I get paid daily, I was paid as a sub but that didn’t stop me from giving it 110% all of the time.  I don’t know how much more I can put myself out there in order for them to see that I have done everything I possibly could to prove to myself, my coworkers, my students, and my administration that there is no better person suited for this position than me.  I’m a good at risk aide, but I’m a better teacher.

I am just 100% done at this point.  I am tired, especially tired, of having to sell myself.  I just want to teach more than anything.  I chose teaching because I thought I related to students and “got it.”  I wanted to be the safe person for them and the one advocate they had in the school.  I knew that  I wouldn’t be better at anything else after my first day in the classroom ended.

 

And now for a little bit of optimism:

Read the rest of this entry